Comments on: A year ago

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 22:48:38 +0000

I was directed to your blog by my grief counselor. My husband and I lost our first child, Ethan Matthew, on April 21st of this year. Wow! What a road we have been on. His due date is September 5th, yet to come, but is also our nephew’s birthday and a friend’s due date. It is going to be rough. I know that. I love my baby, I love my husband, I love God. Thank you for sharing your real grief and hurt with us.

By: natalie cooper

natalie cooper — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 14:12:45 +0000

hi judith,
amberly deavours gave me your website and said you did homestudies for adoptions. i came over here to ask you to contact me about that (we’re starting the process right now), but first, i just have to say–I TOTALLY GET IT. while we do have a biological daughter the road to getting pregnant is so very hard (i had ovarian cancer as a teen which left me with just half of one ovary) and i’ve miscarried myself. during our infertility struggle i found myself questioning the “fairness” of it all–like, why after all i had gone through could _______ get pregnant and i couldn’t? or my husband and i are stable people with two jobs and a nice house who could provide for a child but why couldn’t get pregnant? it wasn’t fair! all i’ve ever wanted to be is a mother–it’s not fair!
i still find that “fairness ghost” rearing its head every once in awhile, but it is true–time heals wounds. there will be a scar–i have a huge one across my heart from infertility–but the pain and sadness does slowly fade. i promise.

By: Mike Thomas

Mike Thomas — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 13:17:49 +0000

I am writing to ask for your permission to include your posts on AdoptionExperiences.com.and include a link to your blog in our
directory. We would
include a link back to your blog fully crediting you for your work
along with a profile about you listed on AdoptionExperiences.com .
Please let us
know as soon as possible.

Mike@adoptionexperiences.com

Mike Thomas
Editor-in-Chief
AdoptionExperiences.com

By: Bryonie

Bryonie — Thu, 20 May 2010 01:59:08 +0000

The year mark is hard. I wanted to use it to celebrate the fact that I had been through so much heartbreak and I STILL believed – I hadn’t lost my faith. But it didn’t turn out like that. Instead it was a hard day – a hard few weeks, actually. Everything was fresh again – like it just happened. Fresh wounds and fresh heartbreak. Thank you for sharing this.

By: B

Mon, 17 May 2010 22:26:11 +0000

THank you for sharing your beautiful heart. WE continue to pray for you and the desires of your precious heart and for healing of the wounds of your treasured heart.

By: Mindy

Mindy — Tue, 11 May 2010 17:40:39 +0000

Just checking in on you and just read your post. Again, such a beautifully written post. Your honesty just speaks to my heart. I did exactly what you did for a long time….ran away from babies and pregnant bellies and baby showers. Even from my dearest friends. It was just too painful. I understand completely! I’d love love love to hear from you soon!

By: Deidre Bridges

Deidre Bridges — Tue, 04 May 2010 05:23:18 +0000

Hey Judith,

I’m the friend of Hal and Betty’s from Macon who had a full term still born son 22 years ago this May. I just wanted to stop by and encourage you to keep holding on to Christ with everything in you. You are so right about anniversary dates. Everyone I know who has walked this road experiences much of the same thing. I also want to encourage you and tell you that many people see significant improvement at the end of the second year of grief, and then they continue to move forward more quickly after that. I wish I could tell you that one day all the sadness and grief will be gone, but more truthfully, you just learn how to assimilate it into your life. Just the other day, someone mentioned May 25th in my presence, and just the mention of the date put a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. But then I thought about how precious it was of God to give parents such a deep, deep love for their children–that we carry them that close in our hearts. Here’s what I want you to remember….One day you will feel like yourself again. Every circumstance will not be viewed through the lens of a lost child. I can’t tell you when that will be–each person’s grief is so different, but one day it will come. God has placed many people with similar circumstances in our lives since our loss, and I can tell you that when properly grieved with dependence upon the grace and mercy of our Good and Loving God, you will one day feel “normal” again. It will be a “new normal,” but it will feel ok. I thought it would never happen–perhaps sometimes I really didn’t want it to happen, but it finally came, and it’s OK to not always feel that deep level of grief. Keep your focus on Christ, grieve for your child and continue to dwell on the Goodness and Sovereignty of God. God will see you through this–and He will not waste one ounce of all you are learning and dealing with. Just keep holding onto His hope. Saying a prayer for you now.
Deidre