Archive for November, 2009
November 17, 2009
Facebook is a phenomena to me. I find myself checking it at least once a day awaiting news, connecting with old friends, looking at statuses, laughing and admiring pictures..you know how it is. A myriad of emotions rush through me in one sitting that makes me wonder at it all. News of pregnancies, baby births, and fun family vacations (though happy for them) make me aware it isn’t me. I see pictures of old friends getting togerther, smile, and then realize I wasn’t invited to the party. I read status’s-some of which make me smile and yet others might reveal a broken heart which saddens me. Oh the pictures…new families, children, old times, and telling photos that show I have not aged as well as my classmates. (david assures me noone would willingly put a terrible picture of themselves on there) Thanks to my friend Meredith and doing the “chester cheetah” in a self portrait I have a doozie. I was moritfied when I saw it and why? Shouldn’t I be able to be transparent even on Facebook? Obviously there is a ”wall” there to hide behind. I believe what all us are longing for with it all is intimacy. I know I do. A desire to reach out of these physical walls(especially with children) and “touch” someone else’s life and be a piece of their world. And yet are we completely real, tangible, loving people beyond facebook messages? So often the news feed leaves me discontent, thirsty, and longing because I cannot see the people face to face. And yet I am drawn to it as a substitute to try to quench it all. Some days even more than spending time drinking in His word and meeting my Lord face to face. So it makes me wonder….
What would Jesus be like on Facebook? I am not trying to be disrepectful but would he have to ask the disciples to be his friend….would they confirm the Almighty’s request…would they start a fan club? How many friends would He have anyway? and oh the pictures and statuses….”I just tagged my thumb with a hammer” ….”wonder when my parents will realize I didn’t come home from the temple?”….”only one came back to thank me”….”will my disicples ever get a clue?”….”It is finished!” And his pictures…would he upload the wedding pictures…have family photos by the fig trees…dare someone put the unbecoming picture of the cross? I really don’t think Jesus would be a facebook kind of guy - human touch was too important to Him. During His journey on Earth His healings mostly used human touch and face to face interaction. I believe He wanted people to experience this intimacy. Jesus spoke to the woman at the well so intimately in saying ”Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give Him will never thirst.” John 4:13 Jesus knows the “water” of this world will never satisfy us. I think all the technology is great fun and can be useful in so many ways in our lives. I want to be sure though I am seeking intimacy with my saviour first and pouring that “water” out to the lives around me. I want to desire His water and Spirit to fill my soul so I will taste the satisfaction of a quenching intimacy with Him. Nothing false or photoshoped…just the true son of God.
November 3, 2009
I clean our guest bathroom only to have a son pee all over the floor an hour after an hour before my sweet in-laws are to arrive. I physically carry my six year old screaming to school and walk away through tears. I pick up another son who is under a table at chick-fil-a eating the crumbs of other peoples food. “I don’t want to eat that” cries another son out of an ungrateful and spoiled heart. These are the things of life that inconvenience me and try my patience as a parent. Why can’t they get it? and then I hear God whisper the same thing to me.
He has cleansed me and washed me-I go and mess it all up- He comes back again and cleans me…after all He just wants me to be ready for His arrival. “Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.” Psalm 51:2
I go through some days kicking and screaming in rebellion and through tears… sometimes He leaves me there..knowing its what is best for my life. At the end of the day I will come home- glad I went through it after all(my son did). “Come let us return to the Lord..He has torn us to pieces BUT He will heal us, He has injured us but will bind up our wounds..He will restore us that we may live in His presence.” Hosea 6
I continue to beg for crumbs…He tenderly picks me up and shows me the feast He has prepared for me. ”you prepare a table before me…my cup overflows…surely goodness and love will follow me.” Psalm 23
I throw His kindness back in His face and say “I don’t like this” and expose my ungrateful and spoiled heart. God remains stedfast and so patient with me…”The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, forgiving wickedness, rebellion, and sin.” Exodus 34:6
As my days live out I pray that when my impatience arises(and it will) that he will remind me…and whisper His patience to me.
