By: Deidre Bridges

Deidre Bridges — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 07:00:07 +0000

Hi Judith,
My name is Deidre Bridges. I live in Macon and have known David’s wonderful parents for years. I actually think we have met, and I did get to see your oldest two boys. Someone tonight told me of your webpage. Twenty two years ago we had a full term stillborn son–his name is Peter. I understand so much of what you expressed here in your writings because I lived it, too. A wonderful Christian counselor described the grief process to me as “doing your griefwork.” Indeed it is exhausting work, and you are doing it well. It is the task at hand right now for you–to struggle through all the questions of your heart and groanings in your spirit and to tell yourself God’s truths over and over. I can tell from reading that your mind believes those truths. One day as grief works its way through your life, your heart will willingly follow those same truths also. Your mind and heart will come together to accept this loss. I don’t know how long that will be for you–each person is different–but I can promise you IT WILL GET BETTER. Friends have probably told you that, but I remember longing so much for someone who had walked this path to say that to me. I needed to know that at some point, there would be relief from the pain that hurt in the deepest darkest place in me. We all like quick fixes–I myself REALLY like them. And that perhaps was one of the shocking things about this grief to me. There was no quick fix. But Judith, I can tell you from the bottom of my heart, I would rather have had my son and lost him and know Christ more deeply from the experience than to never experienced having him and never knowing Christ on that level. Be patient with yourself. I asked my counselor for guidelines for grieving. (I desperately felt I needed some sort of roadmap since grief was new to me.) His advice has served me over the years in many ways. He encouraged us to grieve as long and as hard as we needed to but as we did, he advised us to 1)meditate on God’s goodness 2)meditate on His sovereignty and 3)never cross the line of self-pity. The first two for me were easy. That last was a different story. But for me those were excellent self checks that helped me grieve toward a positive end. God did bring us through. No, we will never “get over” losing Peter. At very unexpected times, we both 22 years later can still tear up over our loss. We still wonder what type of man he would be today, what he would have majored in, what he would look like. But we did get through it with a much richer, deeper faith. We are different people because of it. For some reason God could not do in our lives what He needed to do without us walking down that road. Our loss compelled us to work harder with a Christian adoption agency here in Macon. We became foster parents to 13 little babies over several years. I was no longer afraid of the pain of giving them to an adoptive family after they lived in our home because I knew God was big enough to sustain me. Now God has us working with young adults, many of whom have sadly suffered miscarriages, stillbirths or the loss of an infant. I will pray for you and David. Another friend of mine delivered a 25 wk. baby boy yesterday who died shortly after he was born. She already has one adopted son. I am going to pass your website on to her as I know it will be healing for her. Thank you for writing this. I pray that my words will only serve as encouragement to help you hold tight to Christ. As believers we have such a precious hope–for things now as well as for things to come. I thank God for His gift of an eternity in Heaven where there will be no more tears. Give my love to David’s parents.
Deidre

By: Tiffany Moody

Tiffany Moody — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 14:08:45 +0000

Again Judith, your honesty and openness overwhelm. I hurt for you and I am so sorry for the suffering you have gone through. It breaks my heart. Your willingness to grow and learn is inspiring in my own walk with GOd

By: Elise Armfield

Elise Armfield — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 21:22:36 +0000

Hi Dear Niece. Nicely written. Oh, my sweet girl, I surely have walked where you walk – and know a bit of the pain. You are doing a great job – and giving God glory and He will bless you. There are stilll “moments” when Uncle Joe and I find ourselves grieving – not for long; but for a moment. Just for a moment……We sure love you and look forward to meeting our new grand=nephews…

By: Martha

Martha — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 00:53:08 +0000

Judith, engraving is such a beautiful word. It must be so hard to think of what could have been this week in your life. The end of a chapter, the doom you faced. I pray God would shine his light so bright you feel warm and held in His arms. My love is with you as you feel the pain.

By: Kristie

Kristie — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 18:25:51 +0000

Judith- Tears fill my eyes as I read your words. I feel God speaking through you!!-I pray for answers, understanding and peace for you as you brave this difficult road. Thinking of you!!!

Comments on: August 9th, 2009

By: Deidre Bridges

By: Tiffany Moody

By: Elise Armfield

By: Martha

By: Kristie